yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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