He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
