A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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