last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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