I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
