I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Of course I have a pirate flag
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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