My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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