Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
