wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
