well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
