Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
