I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
