i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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