I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
