Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
