Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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