I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
