Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She's the barista slut.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
