its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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