im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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