I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
