Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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