tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
