It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
