He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
