I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
