holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
