I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
