in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
