PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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