i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
