she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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