grandma shit on top of the toilet
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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