420 ftw
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
