Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
