I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
