No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
