Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
