i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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