people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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