i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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