1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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