I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
