Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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