You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
