It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
