my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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