Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My dick has a subreddit
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
