Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
