i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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