connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
