So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We have started to decorate penises.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
