well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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